humansofnewyork:

“Don’t smoke cigarettes.”

humansofnewyork:

“I asked Wendell for his photo. He said: ‘There’s too many of you, not enough of me.’”

humansofnewyork:

I asked: “What’s the most romantic thing he’s ever done?”

Her: “Well, there have been many things…”
Him: “What about that time in Geneva?”
Her: “When you were in Baghdad?”
Him: “No, the other time.”

Then I asked, “When were you in Baghdad?”
And he said, “Which time?”

humansofnewyork:

“We timed our wedding so we could honeymoon at Star Wars Week at Disney World, then walked down the aisle to the Imperial Death March.”

humansofnewyork:

“I used to make clothes for dead people.”

humansofnewyork:

Seen in Williamsburg

humansofnewyork:

Today in microfashion…

humansofnewyork:

“I want to be President of the United States.”
“What do you think will be the hardest part about being president?”
“You have to do all your homework.”

humansofnewyork:

“I’m 92 years old.”
“What’s your secret?”
“Lots of sex.”

humansofnewyork:

“My daughter died of a brain aneurysm when she was thirty. She wasn’t a baby, but she was my baby.”

humansofnewyork:

I found these two walking arm-in-arm, ever-so-slowly, up a staircase in the subway station. When I asked for a photo, they posed just like this. 

“Is this your mother or grandmother?” I asked.

“Oh no,” he said. “I just met her on the train.”

humansofnewyork:

After I took his photo, his coworkers showed me a video of him deep throating a banana. Just reporting the facts.

humansofnewyork:

I asked his favorite thing about his son, and he replied: “That he’s very loving.” Hearing this, the boy asked:
“What about basketball?”
The dad answered: “I like that you’re good at basketball. But my favorite thing is that you’re very loving.”

humansofnewyork:

“If you could give one piece of advice to a large group of people, what would it be?”
“Take those phones you’re on, shove em’ up your arses, and go to work.”

humansofnewyork:

“61 years today!”
“62.”
“61.”
“62.”